"I would we were all of one mind, and one mind good." --Cymbeline, V.iv.209-210. An English teacher's log. Slow down: Check it once in a while.

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Infallible Money-Making Scheme

Dear Friends,

I am offering an infallible money-making scheme to any of you who are willing to gamble on the outcome of the next election.  Once you agree to my terms, I will tell you in advance of election day exactly how I am going to vote on each candidate and each proposition.  All you need to do is to bet on the contrary outcome and you will make a killing. 

My track record is pristine.  In yesterday’s election, for example, every candidate for whom I voted and every proposition that I supported lost.  Likewise, every candidate and proposition that I opposed won.  As a result my political convictions have become an extremely valuable commodity.

All I ask in return for my infallible information is a mere 10% of your guaranteed winnings.  There is no risk of your losing money.  Luck will be a thing of the past.  In addition to the possibility of unlimited financial gain, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you have helped a fellow citizen pluck a monetary victory out of the jaws of political despair.  It’s a flawless deal, too good to pass up!