A Little Poem for My Students

That Would Be Scanned*
or
Which Foot in Your Mouth?


Of all the common English metric feet
The iamb has the most familiar beat.
[iambic pentameter]

Since he throws his punches early,
Trochee seems a trifle surly.
[trochaic tetrameter]

Twin-stressed slowpoke,
Spondee’s no joke.
[spondaic dimeter]

Stiff amphimacer** beats his drum,
Marches forth, rather glum.
[amphimacric dimeter]

Dactyl is slicker and quicker and sunnier,
Forming a verse that is apt to be funnier.
[dactylic tetrameter]

The amphibrach carries his weight in the
middle,
Thus tending to teeter and totter a little.
[amphibrachic tetrameter]

And when anapests gather, prepare to shout
“Whoa!”
Or upon them, be sure, you will galloping go.
[anapestic tetrameter]


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* See Hamlet, Act III, Scene iii, line 75.

** Because the word amphimacer [accent on phim] contains two unstressed syllables together, it cannot be made to fit perfectly into a line of amphimacers. In the verse above, those two syllables should be tossed off lightly as a minor rhythmic variation.