The Ninth Gift
Hanging on
the wall of my living room is a painting by my great teacher Mary Holmes. It depicts a boy standing upon a ring of fire
on water. From his raised right hand
springs fire, from his lowered left hand water—the two traditional images by
which the Holy Spirit has been indicated in Western art—and he is looking up
toward light from the heavens. Mary had
intended the painting to be the ninth in her series of the Nine Gifts of the Spirit—eros,
agape, temperance, faith, hope, discipline, holy poverty, gentleness, and joy. Each of these gifts, she would say, is interdependent
on all the others, and the paintings, hanging in the chapel dedicated to the Holy
Spirit that she had built to house them, are placed to indicate as much, each
speaking to every other, whether next to it, opposite it, or diagonally across
from it in the space. At some point Mary
changed her mind about the last painting and put as the ninth gift a painting
of the Virgin and Child. Eventually, to
my joy, she gave the other painting to me.
Some days
ago the ever-possible reality that Mary’s art strove to make visible in that
painting became real to me in the presence of a different nine.
The scene
was the dining tent at the camp in the San Bernardino Mountains where I was
chaperoning the outdoor education retreat for our high school’s new freshman
class. At one meal the camp counselors
were on break and the faculty advisors were sitting, one per table, awaiting
the arrival of the students, who for once could sit wherever they wanted rather
than by cabin or advisory group.
Unlike all
but two other colleagues, I sat alone at a table for twelve, remembering with
amusement the feeling of having often been in my own youth the last picked for
a team. At one point two girls sat down
at my table, but when they saw their friends elsewhere, they excused themselves
and left. Contemplating a lonely old age,
I had just finished eating when a group of boys asked if they could play cards
at my nearly empty table. I invited them
to sit, and they began a card game. Thus unobtrusively began a peak experience of
my life.
Nine boys
were gathered at the table to play what they called “Egyptian War.” They asked whether I wanted to join them, and
I declined, but as they played, I watched, asked a few questions, and soon
learned the rules: It was a two-deck
game of which the object was to win all the cards by taking tricks based on a)
having the high card or b) being the first to “slap in” upon the appearance of
a pair, or a pair separated by one card.
The number of cards contributed to the trick depended on the face cards
played—a jack (the most coveted card) was followed by one additional card put
in by the next player, a queen by two cards, a king by three, an ace by four, each
new face card, if any, trumping the previous and moving the play to the next
player in clockwise succession. Any
player could slap in on a pair to win the trick, but if he too enthusiastically
slapped in when there was no pair in fact, he had to sacrifice a card to the
trick. A cardless observer too who
wanted to play could join by slapping in on a pair, but for him the punishment for
a false slap-in was to lay his hand flat on the table and to take, unresisting,
a smack on the back of his hand from every other player.
After a few
minutes, having shown that I understood the game, I was invited to play the role
of referee. It was no doubt invented ad
hoc in response to the presence of an observing elder, but the boys offered the
invitation with no distinction implied between generously finding something for
me to do and self-servingly avoiding potentially disruptive conflicts. As ref I was charged with deciding whose hand
had slapped in first. That meant distinguishing
the worthy fingers from those slipped surreptitiously or violently under others
previously landed, and my final word in any doubtful case was willingly accepted.
The game
was fast, intense, and wild, and the boys were quick and sharp at it, witty and
hilarious in repartee, and gleefully intense.
As they played, I became aware that I was experiencing a kind of miracle. Winning and losing, every boy was filled with
affection for every other, with delight in the vagaries of the game, with a
seemingly boundless capacity for energetic joking, with total concentration,
with sublime vitality. It was an incarnation
of innocent adolescent boyhood in friendship and play.
M.L. became
known for winning jacks, S.K. for being the quickest to slap in, L.R. for comically
offering to fan the heated T.R. with the substantial stack of cards he had won
and for trumping A.deB. ten times in a row.
There was intense competition, much shouting, and much laughter. Those who know freshman boys will appreciate my
wonder that there was also no hint of hurt feelings nor any profane word, sexual
innuendo, or shred of nastiness, though neither was there anything nerdy about
this wholesomeness: When it came to the
punishment for an outsider’s false slap-in, six of the eight punishers made it
their business to smash the guilty hand as hard as they could, exhibiting both
justice under the rules and the competition in physical force that, along with
courage and prowess, is essential to all true boys’ games however harmless. It was required that the referee also
participate in the punishment, but considering my age and position, I chose to
follow the example of the two who mercifully settled for a merely symbolic tap. The victims took their punishment with either
calm reserve or “I-hardly-even-felt-that” braggadocio. There was no recrimination.
When we had
to break it up, called to our next activity, I came away overwhelmed with
delight. Unselfconsciously, and without
benefit of electronic devices (addiction to which is the greatest obstacle in
the teacher’s efforts to foster deep reading and thought in the present
generation), these nine boys—with no vehicle but the cards and one another—had
swept us all into an exaltation known, after youth, only in rare moments of
life.
I have not
ceased to ponder this descent of the muse, this brief span of unadulterated
happiness. So moved was I by the experience,
and by the boys’ unselfconscious welcoming of a graybeard to participate in it,
that I promised myself to record it—only to preserve the occasion in memory,
for to capture its essence would be beyond my art.
So this
snapshot is dedicated in gratitude to the invisible muse of the game, and to A.B.,
A. deB., A.M., L.R., M.L., R.P., S.K., T.R., and T.S. May they know many moments like these before
the weight of the world comes to rest on their shoulders, and may they bear
their share of that weight in the knowledge that however heavily it must sit, hidden within their
capacity for friendship and play lies the perennial possibility of receiving again
the ninth gift of the spirit—the gift of joy.